Could You Be Living Someone Else’s Dream?

If you discover your life's purpose and live it out, you will be living your dream, and work will never feel like work again



Consider what you do each day. Are you following your passion and doing what you love?

If not, are you following in the footsteps of a relative and doing what they did? Are you doing a job that someone said you’d be good at, or would earn you lots of money? If the answer to either of the last 2 questions is “yes”, it’s possible you may be living someone else’s dream.

Searching for my dream

In high school, I had the opportunity to do work experience with a physiotherapist, and I loved it. So, I structured my Years 11 and 12 subjects to qualify me for entry into Physiotherapy studies at university.

None of the Australian physiotherapy schools would take me back then, due to my total blindness. So I enrolled in the North London School of Physiotherapy in the UK, a school specially designed to train blind physiotherapists.

It’s a long and complicated story, which I won’t go into here, but after 4 months at the school, I was advised to return to Australia and study something more academic. I remember sitting, broken hearted, in my Aunt’s lounge room in England, and asking her what I should do. I had been so focused on becoming a physiotherapist, that I had no other ideas about what to do with the rest of my life.

My Aunt said: “You’ve got a good brain, why don’t you study law?”

I didn’t know the first thing about lawyers, or what they did, but I returned to Australia and obtained a combined Commerce Law degree.

Fortunately, I enjoyed studying, and working in the legal profession. In fact, I worked as a Government lawyer for 17, mostly happy, years. However, while I didn’t realise this at the time, being a lawyer wasn’t my dream, but my Aunt’s.

Like many other people, I got up every day and went to work, and enjoyed what I did. But I always envied those people I would see on TV who were following their passion. They would say things like: “I work 18 hours a day, but I love it so much, it doesn’t feel like work”, “It’s what gets me up in the morning” and “At last, I’m doing what I’ve always wanted to do”.

Discovering My life’s Purpose

After taking a redundancy and running a network marketing business, I retrained as a John C Maxwell speaker and coach.

As I started coaching clients, and did a little speaking, people began to say how I encouraged and inspired them. This puzzled me at first, as I was just being myself, but I eventually realised that to inspire and encourage others is my life’s purpose.

My dream is to inspire and encourage others, through speaking, coaching and writing, to discover their life’s purpose. I love what I’m doing. work doesn’t feel like work as I’m following my passion and living my dream.

Discover your life’s purpose and live your dream

If you are living your dream, fantastic! Please comment and tell me about it.

If not, have you adopted someone else’s dream and made it fit? Wouldn’t you rather discover your life’s purpose, and live your own dream? Comment with “Purpose” and I’ll send you some information on how you can do this.

Editor’s NoteI

This post was originally published on 18 July 2016, but has since been updated.

image with the words lets learn and transition

8 Things You Should Do Before Looking For Another Job

Whenever things got bad at work, I used to look through the online gazette for jobs hoping I could find one that was better than the one I was in. But, when I did find something that looked good, I’d either get scared and not apply for it, in case it was the same or worse than the one I was in, or I’d decide that it was all too hard and not apply for it, as I wasn’t prepared. So, if you’re sitting at your desk, contemplating looking for jobs, here are 8 things that I highly recommend that you do before you even think about doing that. If you do these things first, you’ll be prepared to apply for that exciting sounding job, and will be less scared of the unknown, as you’ll know exactly what you want.

1. Update your CV or Resume

I can’t stress enough how important it is to do this regularly. There’s nothing that will raise your anxiety levels higher than finishing a job application the night before it’s due, and realising that you haven’t updated your CV for 5 years. Trust me, I’ve been there!

So take some time to update your CV at your leisure, so you can do it right. Find the duty statements for all the jobs you’ve done, and take plenty of time to cast your mind back into the past and remember all you’ve achieved since you last updated your CV.

Get a friend or colleague to check it over for errors, and if it really needs an overhaul and you’re stuck, get some professional help.

2. Reflect upon your past and present careers

While you’re updating your CV, this is a great time to reflect on your past and present jobs. Give some thought to what you liked about them, and what you didn’t.

Think about what satisfied you most about each job, and see if there’s a common thread. This will be something you’ll want to look for when considering whether to apply for jobs in the future.

Similarly, consider the things that dissatisfied you most about each job. You’ll want to avoid these in the future, if possible.

When I did this, I discovered that I was happiest in the jobs where I was helping people, an I was most unhappy when I was being closely managed.

3. Make an inventory of your skills

This is also a great time to make an inventory of your skills. Don’t just stick to your work related skills, but also consider the other skills you have.

You’ll always be happier doing a job where you’re using your best skills. also, this list will be useful if you want to change careers, as it will point you to other career options. It’s also a good chance to decide whether you might like to update your current skills, or gain some new ones, in order to expand your career options.

I was able to get my employer to pay for me to do 2 short courses, one on technical writing (as this was something I thought I might be good at), and one on starting a business.

4. List your interests

If you are thinking of changing careers, it will also be very useful for you to list as many things as you possibly can that interest you. These will not only give you ideas for different types of careers, but may also jog your memory to start that hobby you’ve been putting off for ages.

5. Consider your personal qualities and values

These are what make you unique, and will show what sort of work environment you’re best suited to, and the people you’d be most happy working with.

You won’t want a slow paced job if you thrive on the adrenaline of a tight deadline, and you won’t want an open and noisy work environment if you work best by yourself when it’s quiet.

You may not be as happy in a job if the people you work with have different values to you. I was in a job like that once, and while I loved the work, I never felt like I quite fitted in with my colleagues when we socialised after work, which was strongly encouraged.

6. Consider your goals

I’m someone who likes to run away and hide when people ask me to write down goals. But what I’m suggesting you do isn’t really as daunting as it sounds. Just give some thought to questions about the quality of your life, like:

  • How much do you need to earn to keep up with your bills?
  • Do you want to spend more time with your family?
  • How is your work life balance looking?
  • Do you want to take more holidays, or a different type of holiday?
  • Do you have the time to do the things you most enjoy? etc.

This will get you thinking about what you want your future to look like, and how your job will fit into that. If you’re not comfortable with long term goals, just look ahead a single year.

7. Brainstorm career options

If you are thinking seriously of a career change, use what you’ve listed in the points above, and start brainstorming different career options. This may take some time, and a good deal of research.

Find out as much as you possibly can about the careers you are interested in. If you can, talk to people who work in those careers, and see what a day in that career would look like for you.

When I was doing this, I didn’t have the luxury of time, as I only had 3 months to decide what to do. I knew I wanted to start a business, but didn’t know what. So, I jumped into a business which wasn’t quite right for me. Having said that, I don’t regret a single day in that business, as it lead me to do what I’m doing now.

8. Build your belief in yourself

If you are seriously thinking of changing jobs, there will come a time when you have to apply for one. Truly believing that you are the best person for the job is vital if you are going to win that job. After all, if you don’t believe that you’re the best one for the job, the panel won’t either.

I read a blog post the other day which said that if there were two people with identical skills, where one believed in themselves and the other didn’t, the one who did would be 90% ahead of the other one. Click here to read the whole post.

Let me tel you about 2 very different jobs I applied for. I read the selection criteria for the first job, and decided that I really wanted it. Before I started writing the application, I wrote down all the reasons why I deserved that job, and why i would be very good at it.

By the time I walked into the interview, I felt that that job had my name on it and, if I didn’t get that job, it would be entirely my fault, as I wouldn’t have done a good enough job of convincing the panel that I was the best one for the job. Needless to say , I got the job.

In the case of the second job, when I read the selection criteria, I knew I could do it, and wrote an application that was good enough to get me an interview. However, when I walked into the interview, I just couldn’t seem to muster up that feeling that the job was mine. A little voice in my head kept whispering “you might not get it”. That little voice was a self-fulfilling prophecy, as I didn’t get the job. I didn’t believe enough in myself, and so the panel didn’t either.

I’m not saying that self-belief will get you the job every time, but it will certainly put you a step ahead of those you’re competing against, who may not have that self-belief.

I am a career transition coach, and I passionately believe that no one should be stuck in an unfulfilling job simply because they don’t know what their options are, or are too scared to follow their dreams. I’m not an expert at writing CV’s but if you would like help in any of the other areas I’ve written about here, please contact me.

The 5 Things I Wish I Knew When I Was In A Job That Made Me Miserable

image with the words lets learn and transition

It’s amazing how many people are miserable in their jobs. I know I was. Now, thankfully, I’m in a job that I love.

Here are 5 things that I wish I knew when I was stuck in a job that made me miserable.

1. You are not alone

If your job makes you miserable, remember that you are not alone.

I remember when I was in a job where I was being bullied. I felt so isolated and alone, as I thought I was the only one.

But, when I eventually plucked up the courage to tell someone what was going on, I found out that I was not the only one in the office, or even in our section, who was being bullied.

statistics show that 60% of Australian employees are miserable in their jobs. So, there’s a good chance that if you are miserable in your job, some of your colleagues probably are too. So, do some discrete asking around, and find people who are in the same position as you, and reach out to them for support.

Hopefully, you also have friends and family that you can reach out to for support as well. But remember not to dump everything on one person all the time, as it can get exhausting for them.

2. You always have the support of the Employee Assistance Program (EAP)

If you are a Government employee, EAP is a great source of support from trained counsellors and psychologists.

The great thing about EAP is that it’s free, and is not limited to work issues. It’s open to your family members as well as you.

I have used the service myself, and found it very helpful when I was going through the redundancy process. I was having difficulty coping with being in the office during my redeployment, as I felt very uncomfortable talking to my colleagues who had not been made redundant, as I felt they didn’t know what to say to me, and I didn’t know what to say to them. I felt that I didn’t fit in any more.

The psychologist I spoke to was able to give me some really good strategies for coping with being in the office, and dealing with the feelings of anger and rejection that I was experiencing. She even suggested that I speak to my employer about the possibility of working from home as much as possible.

I really recommend EAP as a great service for finding someone to talk to who is outside your workplace and not emotionally involved, who can give you some great coping strategies for whatever you’re going through at work. For more information, click here.

3. Finding great stuff to do outside work makes life much happier in general

I once was in a job in which I was miserable because I didn’t have enough to do. I know that’s very unusual these days.

So, I started selling Tupperware. It was great! I had something to look forward to every weekend, and sometimes in the evenings during the week. I was going out more than I had in the past, and was meeting lots of new and interesting people.

I’m not necessarily suggesting that you go out and sell Tupperware. But I do recommend that you find something to do after work, or on weekends, that you really enjoy. It will give you something to look forward to on a regular basis, and make it much easier to think about something other than work when you’re not at work.

4. Posting on social media may make you feel better in the short term, but the consequences could be serious

If your job makes you miserable, don’t post about it on social media. Seriously, don’t!

You never know who might see that tweet about how much you don’t like your boss, or that rant on Facebook about how much you hate your job. A friend of your boss might see that post, and pass it on!

If you are applying for jobs, this is particularly important, as there is nothing to stop a potential future employer from checking your social media profiles to see what sort of person you are. You wouldn’t want a future employer to decide not to employ you because they’ve seen a social media post from you complaining about your current job or employer.

I remember when I was doing some work for a nonprofit organisation a few years ago. They were in the process of negotiating a contract with someone, and just out of interest, someone in the organisation had a look at the twitter account of the new contractor. The account contained a number of tweets containing negative remarks about the nonprofit organisation, and so the contract negotiations were cancelled.

If you want to tell someone about how miserable you are in your job, tell your best friend, or your dog, or cat, or pet lizard, or whatever pet you have. Pets are so wonderful aren’t they? You can cry on their shoulders, or tell them anything, and they’ll keep your secrets.

5. Remember to take care of yourself

It’s so easy to forget to look after ourselves in times of stress, and turn to food, alcohol and other substances to make ourselves feel better. My substance of choice was alcohol.

While these substances make us feel better in the short term, it’s important to remember that long term overuse can lead to health problems such as weight gain, heart disease etc.

I used to find that exercise used to help me a great deal. I used to be a ballroom dancer. I could walk into a lesson in a fowl mood, and an hour later, would walk out feeling exhausted, but relaxed and happy. The same went for weightlifting years later.

I hope you’ve found these tips useful. If you have any questions, or would just like to talk about anything that I’ve raised here, please contact me.

Is It Your Job That’s Making You Miserable or Your Career In General?

If you would prefer to watch the Facebook live video,

If your job is making you miserable, before you do anything about it, sit down and have a think whether it’s your job that’s making you miserable, or your career in general.

For example, you might have an established career as a policy drafter, but you are miserable because there’s just too much work to do, and you’re sitting in a tiny cubical and the environment is horrible. In this case, you hate your job, not your policy drafting career. However, if your workload was OK, and you liked the people you worked with but were still miserable, it might be the policy drafting that’s the problem.

In the first case, you might consider moving jobs, so that you can continue doing what you enjoy, but in a better environment. In the second case, you might need to consider a career change.

If you’re unsure whether it’s your job or your career that’s the problem, why not contact me and we can make a time to have a chat about it.

Until my next blog post, have a great day and #DoWhatYouLove